MINIONS!
GO FORTH . . .
. . AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
MWAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(AND YOU DIDN'T MANAGE TO KILL ME FILTHY 2010!!!!)
Friday, December 31, 2010
For Those Who Haven't Seen It . . .
I highly, highly, highly, highly, recommend . . .
CONSERVATIVE BABYLON.
It's a great blog that brings together in one place all the hypocrisy of the right-wing in one place - apparently, there isn't a so-called "conservative leader" out there who isn't involved in embezzlement, fraud, assault, child abuse, or general sexual escapades.
Don't just enjoy it yourself!
Send it to your conservative acquaintances and loved ones. Show them the people they follow up close and personal. Let them work on those disciplines of self-deception, obfuscation, and rationalization that allow one to be a right-winger without blowing one's own brains out.
And, believe me, Conservative Babylon is the gift that keeps on giving.
CONSERVATIVE BABYLON.
It's a great blog that brings together in one place all the hypocrisy of the right-wing in one place - apparently, there isn't a so-called "conservative leader" out there who isn't involved in embezzlement, fraud, assault, child abuse, or general sexual escapades.
Don't just enjoy it yourself!
Send it to your conservative acquaintances and loved ones. Show them the people they follow up close and personal. Let them work on those disciplines of self-deception, obfuscation, and rationalization that allow one to be a right-winger without blowing one's own brains out.
And, believe me, Conservative Babylon is the gift that keeps on giving.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Politics 'n' Stuff - Why the Tea Party is Headin' the Wrong Way
I understand - perhaps, better than many - the frustration, anger, and despair that drives the Tea Party. I really do. We are in a tanking economy, with a completely disconnected government with far too few representatives for the number of people they represent. It's infuriating to see a sitting government play at political games with huge amounts of money, claiming they're doing the "people's will" while voting pay raises and vacations and fringe benefits for themselves. They have worked hand-in-hand, or, rather, hand-in-pocket, with a corrupt corporate culture that is the cause of the very same collapsing economy, at the expense of those empowering and paying them. In a real sense, we live in an America that now has a ruling class, but that ruling class is defined by money rather than family. It's not even people who are that ruling class, but corporations, creditors, debt collectors. The government agencies funded by us to be there when we need them are abused and bankrupted by con artists and low-level grifters who get away with it because of a mindless, faceless bureaucracy. We are torn between love of our sons and daughters in the service, and a war we believe, in our hearts, is pointless and unwinnable by any military solution.
We feel, and are, powerless, poor and pushed to the brink.
BUT . . .
Simply retreating into an ethic of "Survival of the fittest" is absolutely not any responsible answer. That is the thinking that got us into this position in the first place. The politicians see themselves as the fittest, because they can get you to give them power and money. The corporations and financiers operate without regard to human welfare at all, regarding profit as the exhibition of who's fittest. The grifters and con-men believe they're the fittest because they can fool people into giving them your money. The whole basis has been "Me first. I get mine, you get yours, if you fall through the cracks you weren't good enough." The Tea Party's Randian/Libertarian approach is simply the same answer that caused the problems to begin with.
Tea Party politicians - and this just amazes me at the gullibility it requires from their followers - convince their followers that they are "one of them," the silent, suffering, neglected middle-class. They're not! Absolutely not! How many of you make what Beck, Palin, or Bachmann, or even your own party officials make, move in the circles they move in? They are the same people you want to vote out of office!!! They will sell you to the highest bidder and say they were the "fittest," so it's perfectlly allright for them to do so. They'll leave you to fall through the cracks, and say you were undeserving. You think your life is miserable now, wait til your employers, your insurance company, your creditors, your competitors go to "President Palin" and say, "Look, here's how much we'll pay you to take away all regulation." Will she sell you? You betcha! Because the mindset that allows her to sell you is what you wanted - you said so when you voted.
The answer is not no or even less government, but a government that takes responsibility for every one of us - more government, even - but less bureaucracy, because we take responsibility for the government and thus for each other and thus for ourselves. You aren't paying for a "welfare state" for others, but because you might be there one day. If you worry about it being abused, then take responsibility for its operation, don't leave it to professional politicians or fob it off on bureaucrats. If it's mismanaged, manage it. And stop being so damn stingy with every penny - Tea Partiers claim Christian principals most often, and there is absolutely nothing Christian in "This is mine 'cause I worked for it." There's nothing Christian in capitalism, for that matter, given that the first Christians, the only Biblical model for a Christian community, held everything in common.
You want this country to be great? Stop looking at fabricated virtues like "uniqueness," or "individualism" - look at the real virtues of greatness, look to WWII - self-sacrifice, pulling together, inquisitive, adventuring spirit, reaching out to Other with compassion, fighting for principals and not for revenge or out of mere aimless fear and engendering political favor, putting aside feuds and fears for the higher good, a spirit of world community, knowing how to say "Enough!" to those who wouldn't join in the self-sacrifice and pulling together.
What you are doing is destroying what made America great, not preserving it. The path you're on now, if successful, will reduce the USA to a handful of weak, impoverished, "balkanized" states in the garbage can of history. You could be successful reformers, but you are choosing to be no more that agitators, rebels, and destroyers of what has made us great.
We feel, and are, powerless, poor and pushed to the brink.
BUT . . .
Simply retreating into an ethic of "Survival of the fittest" is absolutely not any responsible answer. That is the thinking that got us into this position in the first place. The politicians see themselves as the fittest, because they can get you to give them power and money. The corporations and financiers operate without regard to human welfare at all, regarding profit as the exhibition of who's fittest. The grifters and con-men believe they're the fittest because they can fool people into giving them your money. The whole basis has been "Me first. I get mine, you get yours, if you fall through the cracks you weren't good enough." The Tea Party's Randian/Libertarian approach is simply the same answer that caused the problems to begin with.
Tea Party politicians - and this just amazes me at the gullibility it requires from their followers - convince their followers that they are "one of them," the silent, suffering, neglected middle-class. They're not! Absolutely not! How many of you make what Beck, Palin, or Bachmann, or even your own party officials make, move in the circles they move in? They are the same people you want to vote out of office!!! They will sell you to the highest bidder and say they were the "fittest," so it's perfectlly allright for them to do so. They'll leave you to fall through the cracks, and say you were undeserving. You think your life is miserable now, wait til your employers, your insurance company, your creditors, your competitors go to "President Palin" and say, "Look, here's how much we'll pay you to take away all regulation." Will she sell you? You betcha! Because the mindset that allows her to sell you is what you wanted - you said so when you voted.
The answer is not no or even less government, but a government that takes responsibility for every one of us - more government, even - but less bureaucracy, because we take responsibility for the government and thus for each other and thus for ourselves. You aren't paying for a "welfare state" for others, but because you might be there one day. If you worry about it being abused, then take responsibility for its operation, don't leave it to professional politicians or fob it off on bureaucrats. If it's mismanaged, manage it. And stop being so damn stingy with every penny - Tea Partiers claim Christian principals most often, and there is absolutely nothing Christian in "This is mine 'cause I worked for it." There's nothing Christian in capitalism, for that matter, given that the first Christians, the only Biblical model for a Christian community, held everything in common.
You want this country to be great? Stop looking at fabricated virtues like "uniqueness," or "individualism" - look at the real virtues of greatness, look to WWII - self-sacrifice, pulling together, inquisitive, adventuring spirit, reaching out to Other with compassion, fighting for principals and not for revenge or out of mere aimless fear and engendering political favor, putting aside feuds and fears for the higher good, a spirit of world community, knowing how to say "Enough!" to those who wouldn't join in the self-sacrifice and pulling together.
What you are doing is destroying what made America great, not preserving it. The path you're on now, if successful, will reduce the USA to a handful of weak, impoverished, "balkanized" states in the garbage can of history. You could be successful reformers, but you are choosing to be no more that agitators, rebels, and destroyers of what has made us great.
Let's See How THIS One Goes
I have been waiting for a good version of The Three Musketeers for quite a while.
Don't misunderstand, there have been some decentish versions, but none got it quite right - this is discounting the excresence produced in the 1990's with Tim Curry and Kiefer Sutherland, both of whom should've known better.
Charlton Heston's Richelieu was decrepit. De Winter of the 30's and 40's too wholesome. Michael York - whom I like - was far too imposing as D'Artagnan . . . he looked like a young man who kid kick your butt.
So, we have another in 2011, and here's how things look-
Don't misunderstand, there have been some decentish versions, but none got it quite right - this is discounting the excresence produced in the 1990's with Tim Curry and Kiefer Sutherland, both of whom should've known better.
Charlton Heston's Richelieu was decrepit. De Winter of the 30's and 40's too wholesome. Michael York - whom I like - was far too imposing as D'Artagnan . . . he looked like a young man who kid kick your butt.
So, we have another in 2011, and here's how things look-
Logan Lerman's D'Artagnan has swagger, but looks like a grungy, scrawny farm kid. He'd be the sort underestimated by the sophisticates and old veterans.
Comte de Rochefort is one of my favorites, and I love Mads Mikkelson's bad guys. His Rochefort, while less polished-looking, he radiates a hawklike, contemptuous hauteur.
The Musketeers themselves. Old enough to be a bit jaded, but not so old you couldn't believe they'd be up for a bit of swashbuckling.
Milla Jovovich looks a promising Lady DeWinter - reminds me of a younger Famke Janssen. Orlando Bloom is Buckingham on the right, but Buckingham's kind of hard to get wrong.
Christoff (sic) Waltz (best known to USA from Inglorious Basterds), as Armand-Jean du Plessis, Duc de Richelieu and Chief Advisor to the King. I like that he is a man of vigorous middle years, neither doddering, like Heston's Cardinal Richelieu, nor entirely cerebral, like Vincent Price's Richelieu. His armor seems modeled from the painting of him at La Rochelle, a good reminder that he was a soldier, as well as a nobleman and Cardinal.
There is one thing that fills me with dread about this film, so far - two little symbols . . .
3-D.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
SYFY has failed me . . .
I don't care how young and pretty Ben Barnes and William Moseley are (and they are), you just can't make Prince Caspian interesting or absorbing. It's like Pilgrim's Progress - an all-nude, all-male production would still be Pilgrim's Progress, and it would still be ham-handed, dull-as-ditchwater allegory.
I thought they'd reached a low with Mammoth, last night - but that was a thrill-packed rollercoaster ride compared to the ongoing pain of C. S. Lewis' attempts to make Puritanical Protestantism appetizing.
I mean, come on, Ben Barnes played Dorian Gray, and that's "gay" in the good way - and suitable to a channel called SyFy!
I thought they'd reached a low with Mammoth, last night - but that was a thrill-packed rollercoaster ride compared to the ongoing pain of C. S. Lewis' attempts to make Puritanical Protestantism appetizing.
I mean, come on, Ben Barnes played Dorian Gray, and that's "gay" in the good way - and suitable to a channel called SyFy!
Dorian Gray - interesting, sexy, witty
Prince Caspian - armored doofus
And, young Mr. Moseley has done some interesting camera work, as well, which, sadly, appears nowhere in the Chronicles movies.
Don't look at me like that; he's 23 and in a country I'll probably never visit.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Wonder of Film
Finally!
I saw Despicable Me, and there is finally a film I can point you to for a very direct representation of my relationship with my Mom. Gru and his mother have pretty much the same relationship, but with Southern accents, rather than Eastern European.
I saw Despicable Me, and there is finally a film I can point you to for a very direct representation of my relationship with my Mom. Gru and his mother have pretty much the same relationship, but with Southern accents, rather than Eastern European.
Monday, December 20, 2010
. . All Ye Who Enter Here.
Earlier, MadPriest had written:
Mark has lived with depression and huge financial worries for some years. This must not be one problem too many.
Well, it kinda is.
This weekend brought me up against the fact of my facade of cheerfulness against the reality of nothing but fear, rage, and empty loneliness.
Not. Suicidal.
Important. Don't fob me off with "go see a therapist" - therapists are useless. They have a bag of tricks for dealing with imaginary problems, and, even then, I see through the tricks. Useless. So, no help. I have actual problems. I have real life going on.
This is real life: there is no hope. None. Humanity is beyond saving - or rather, there are very few humans left to save. Look at me, for instance: if God formed me, He formed me broken, mentally and emotionally dysfunctional, then left me here, purposeless and instructionless, with others incapable of dealing with me. There's no turning back, now, and survival instinct means we're all just pumping the engines toward inevitable turns for the worse; not destruction - that would be an end - but just devolution. Worse and worse. Less and less human. Indeed, what passes as human now is just chatty monkeys. If Jesus was going to come back, He missed it. There's nothing to come back to. That's the reality I see: we may form little clumps, but no communities. We have churches, but no Body of Christ radically-transforming the world. Justice, compassion, altruism, love are all shibboleths or P. R. gimmicks, mere words.
So, any word of hope out there?
Mark has lived with depression and huge financial worries for some years. This must not be one problem too many.
Well, it kinda is.
This weekend brought me up against the fact of my facade of cheerfulness against the reality of nothing but fear, rage, and empty loneliness.
Not. Suicidal.
Important. Don't fob me off with "go see a therapist" - therapists are useless. They have a bag of tricks for dealing with imaginary problems, and, even then, I see through the tricks. Useless. So, no help. I have actual problems. I have real life going on.
This is real life: there is no hope. None. Humanity is beyond saving - or rather, there are very few humans left to save. Look at me, for instance: if God formed me, He formed me broken, mentally and emotionally dysfunctional, then left me here, purposeless and instructionless, with others incapable of dealing with me. There's no turning back, now, and survival instinct means we're all just pumping the engines toward inevitable turns for the worse; not destruction - that would be an end - but just devolution. Worse and worse. Less and less human. Indeed, what passes as human now is just chatty monkeys. If Jesus was going to come back, He missed it. There's nothing to come back to. That's the reality I see: we may form little clumps, but no communities. We have churches, but no Body of Christ radically-transforming the world. Justice, compassion, altruism, love are all shibboleths or P. R. gimmicks, mere words.
So, any word of hope out there?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
This Means Something!!!!!!!!!!
I think it's what I think the world the human mind has created would sing.
It's from a game named Portal, sung by an insane computer called GLaDos. James put me on to it. It made it into Rock Band and has become something of a hit, despite being sung as a credit closer for a video game in a computer-modified and distorted voice. I think, maybe, a lot of people realize they've never listened to the words in the lullabye Mother Civilization is singing us.
"We do what we must because we can, for the good of all of us . . .
. . except the ones who are dead."
Friday, December 17, 2010
JOIN US!!!
Let's be honest; Christianity as it has become institutionalized and represented in it's various communions, and presbyteries, and synods and blah-blahs and bloo-bloos ain't working. It tells nothing about community, provides no image of the potential of the human soul, no transformation, no hope in dark times, no counter to the noise of a small, scared worldview.
But there is someone who does; someone who represents all the best in us, in our flaws and strengths, our failures and triumphs, both human and transcendant and fully committed to the salvation of all the world. Yes join us in . . .
But there is someone who does; someone who represents all the best in us, in our flaws and strengths, our failures and triumphs, both human and transcendant and fully committed to the salvation of all the world. Yes join us in . . .
Thursday, December 16, 2010
update and alternative version
IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS
OR
It’s beginning to look a lot like
CHRISTMAS!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Oh, Brad, Brad!
No need for prophecy. You're so predictable!
I said to one of my friends on another blog, "Brad's going to leave two anonymous posts on some other threads so he can abuse, without showing the indefensibility of his position as a self-loathing fundie."
Whatever happens to me, I'll still be stronger than you, Brad.
Oh, and, given your fear of me and your inherent weakness, I'm willing to let the terroristic threat to shoot me go . . . for now.
I said to one of my friends on another blog, "Brad's going to leave two anonymous posts on some other threads so he can abuse, without showing the indefensibility of his position as a self-loathing fundie."
Whatever happens to me, I'll still be stronger than you, Brad.
Oh, and, given your fear of me and your inherent weakness, I'm willing to let the terroristic threat to shoot me go . . . for now.
HAVE A HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!
It Isn't Atheists, You Know.
There's a good deal of obnoxious going around, right now, from a special interest group of pundits and low-grade politicos calling themselves "atheists."
They're not.
Everything they say, every little contemptuous snippet of ignorance ("You know it's a myth," "Flying Spaghetti Monster," "Your Sky Friend,") all indicate that they can't be atheists, because they don't disbelieve in God; they simply disbelieve in what they think God means. That's fine. They aren't atheists, just fundamentalists who hate what they believe. Self-loathing dogmatic "christians."
We all know real atheists. They don't feel the need to insult your belief, because that belief is irrelevant to them. Actions may matter - the oppression of a religious minority, a sexual minority, aggressive attempts to stifle the expression of those who don't believe - but the people who stand with them stand with them, and their belief in God or not is irrelevant, because a real atheist doesn't conceive of God or care about an image of God.
Now, just as the fundamentalist-cum-atheists (fundiatheist is too pejorative and joking - it sounds, too, like you're saying they really are atheists) are not actually atheists, I have no problem saying that fundamentalists, right-wingers of all denominations, etc. are not Christians. I've been told (by fundamentalist-cum-atheists) that I "can't say they're not Christians," but I can. They are in no way interested in Christ's teachings, except as proscriptive, and will use a spurious "apostolic" writing to circumvent the liberality of Jesus' teachings.
Not. Christian.
In the same way, I have no interest in "sky friends," imaginary space beasts, fairy godfathers, or old men on thrones, just in God. So, as I believe in none of those things, those saying I must believe in those things so they can deny their reality, are the ones invested in them. They are no more atheists than a bronze age villager saying, "Your god doesn't exist! Mine is the real one." They are like the ancient Hebrews, heavily invested in gods of a physical and tangible sort, in order to refute them in favor of their god, the human - which generally is not only in, but is their image (*cough* HitchensDawkinsFry*cough*).
Not. Atheist.
Leave the atheists alone. They're nice folks, and not interested in bothering you one way or another.
They're not.
Everything they say, every little contemptuous snippet of ignorance ("You know it's a myth," "Flying Spaghetti Monster," "Your Sky Friend,") all indicate that they can't be atheists, because they don't disbelieve in God; they simply disbelieve in what they think God means. That's fine. They aren't atheists, just fundamentalists who hate what they believe. Self-loathing dogmatic "christians."
We all know real atheists. They don't feel the need to insult your belief, because that belief is irrelevant to them. Actions may matter - the oppression of a religious minority, a sexual minority, aggressive attempts to stifle the expression of those who don't believe - but the people who stand with them stand with them, and their belief in God or not is irrelevant, because a real atheist doesn't conceive of God or care about an image of God.
Now, just as the fundamentalist-cum-atheists (fundiatheist is too pejorative and joking - it sounds, too, like you're saying they really are atheists) are not actually atheists, I have no problem saying that fundamentalists, right-wingers of all denominations, etc. are not Christians. I've been told (by fundamentalist-cum-atheists) that I "can't say they're not Christians," but I can. They are in no way interested in Christ's teachings, except as proscriptive, and will use a spurious "apostolic" writing to circumvent the liberality of Jesus' teachings.
Not. Christian.
In the same way, I have no interest in "sky friends," imaginary space beasts, fairy godfathers, or old men on thrones, just in God. So, as I believe in none of those things, those saying I must believe in those things so they can deny their reality, are the ones invested in them. They are no more atheists than a bronze age villager saying, "Your god doesn't exist! Mine is the real one." They are like the ancient Hebrews, heavily invested in gods of a physical and tangible sort, in order to refute them in favor of their god, the human - which generally is not only in, but is their image (*cough* HitchensDawkinsFry*cough*).
Not. Atheist.
Leave the atheists alone. They're nice folks, and not interested in bothering you one way or another.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Christianity Translated to Zen
"Let your 'yes' be a sticky rice ball, and your 'no' be the color twelve."
A Deeply Disturbing Christmas To You
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
And every mother's child is going to spy,
A very Merry Christmas to you!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
More Reasons Avatar: The Last Airbender is Teh Greatness
Rarely do cartoons make good use of music, but that is another of the great beauties of the series, Avatar: The Last Airbender. The music conveys a great sense of the person, the mood, the beauty of the story, in conjunction with the artwork.
This is Princess Azula, one of the principal antagonists.
Her music conveys her personality very well:
This is the mysterious Blue Spirit - a masked vigilante/avenger/antihero whose identity I choose to keep secret for those yet to see the series or the movie. This is a fanart, beautifully rendered and clearer than any screencap, by one Elocinaqui:
His theme:
The beautiful part is, there is a clue to the Blue Spirit's identity in one instrument used throughout the theme, which is used by a related character, and for a related character throughout the series. That's a lot of thought into crafting the story.
These are the Yu Yan Archers - elite force of Fire Nation (antagonists) marksmen who can "Pin a fly to a tree without killing it."
In one segment, there is a breathless chase between the silent and unshakeable archers and Aang, the Last Airbender. This is that scene's music.
Finally, Uncle Iroh. A Fire Nation general (retired) but a very good guy - one of the best, actually, and something of a gourmand and hedonist.
Most often, he is the comedic, laid-back foil to his brooding nephew, Prince Zuko. He is irrepressibly cheerful, given to music and the arts, a bit bumbling (apparently) and never, ever shaken.
This is a song, typical of Iroh (voiced by the late character actor, Mako). He sang it during the "Music Night" he instituted for the crew on his nephew's warship:
Love. Romance. Playfulness. Good times. That's Iroh! In this one episode, he goes through his day in hiding in an Earth Kingdom city, doing his marketing, interacting with various citizens, even comforting a lost, hurt child by singing the little kid's song "Brave Little Soldier Boy." Through all, he buys the best tea, the best incense, the best fruit, and you can imagine his beaming countenance sinking into a relaxing bath, snacks, tea and incense at hand.
Then, you get hit with this:
Lu Ten was Iroh's son, with him in the siege of the great city of Ba Sing Se, where Lu Ten died, after which Iroh ended the 600 day siege, resigned his generalship, and renounced the Fire Nation's throne, choosing an ignominious retirement.
That ain't typical cartoons, folks.
This is Princess Azula, one of the principal antagonists.
This is the mysterious Blue Spirit - a masked vigilante/avenger/antihero whose identity I choose to keep secret for those yet to see the series or the movie. This is a fanart, beautifully rendered and clearer than any screencap, by one Elocinaqui:
The beautiful part is, there is a clue to the Blue Spirit's identity in one instrument used throughout the theme, which is used by a related character, and for a related character throughout the series. That's a lot of thought into crafting the story.
These are the Yu Yan Archers - elite force of Fire Nation (antagonists) marksmen who can "Pin a fly to a tree without killing it."
Finally, Uncle Iroh. A Fire Nation general (retired) but a very good guy - one of the best, actually, and something of a gourmand and hedonist.
This is a song, typical of Iroh (voiced by the late character actor, Mako). He sang it during the "Music Night" he instituted for the crew on his nephew's warship:
Love. Romance. Playfulness. Good times. That's Iroh! In this one episode, he goes through his day in hiding in an Earth Kingdom city, doing his marketing, interacting with various citizens, even comforting a lost, hurt child by singing the little kid's song "Brave Little Soldier Boy." Through all, he buys the best tea, the best incense, the best fruit, and you can imagine his beaming countenance sinking into a relaxing bath, snacks, tea and incense at hand.
Then, you get hit with this:
Lu Ten was Iroh's son, with him in the siege of the great city of Ba Sing Se, where Lu Ten died, after which Iroh ended the 600 day siege, resigned his generalship, and renounced the Fire Nation's throne, choosing an ignominious retirement.
That ain't typical cartoons, folks.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
This Isn't That
I appreciate the expressions of support. I truly do. It is good to be loved.
This is, I'm sure, about winter depression; facing all the unspeakable possibilities along with ongoing poverty and the possibility of sickness with no benefits in place any longer - even paid sick time.
This isn't about suicide - I'm not suicidal, just feeling that it's getting real close to the end. I guess I've actually lost the will to live. Oh, it comes and goes, like a dying candle, but, mainly, no.
It makes perfect sense. I don't know how many do really understand - and I'm not being whiny, just presenting how I see things; the facts that I see.
First, I'm not like you guys. You're amazing! You take care of people and work for them and join and give and . . . I'm not one of those people. I'm one of those who simply is incapable of all that. I am one of those who need taking care of. Maybe the libertarian/Randians are right, and I'm one of the non-people who should just go away and this is natural selection - I don't know. The more I see, the more I'm certain that I'm likely autistic, and, certainly, have never been taught how to live as an independent adult. I mean, this isn't depression, this is just how it is. I'm frozen (ha. ha.) when faced with adapting. It's not just difficult, it's disastrous, and impossible for me to actualize on my own.
Second, whether it's my own need to be cared for, I see the entire world as a netlike community. But that's not how we live. Making sure your needs are met first is reasonable, but the entire human race lives under the belief that it is perfectly allright to have luxuries while others go without - that that is valid. Indeed, we don't - and this is universal, folks - regard things like hot water, private shelter, automobiles, choices of clothing, higher education, entertainment, as luxuries. They're expected. With that, there is religion, which is no longer groundbreaking, earth-shattering, status-quo-threatening. It's been tamed. MDG's are okay, but the problem is one endemic to the human race - there are countless social-service organizations, but only religion can have the audacity to change the entire human outlook. It doesn't. I'm not saying there's no value or good in meeting the needs of Third World countries, but that, when those needs are met, we encounter the same greed, the same taking-for-granted as a Donald Trump.
My despair is that, the one thing I can offer is to try to rally the troops. I keep saying, "We've got to fight, risk, be obnoxious." The different worldview I've been cursed with really does mean that I see how easily it would work. It's not hard at all. I feel like Katara, in Avatar (the series), trying to get Earth Kingdom prisoners to fight. I'm told, "You don't understand. This is just how things are." I write essays, harangues, even satire and am ignored. Apparently, since I don't have D.D. or Ph. D. after my name, or Canon, Fr., or Bp. before, I have no insight. I have no wealth, so I have nothing to say in secular publications. Perhaps I don't, which is the same as having the insight denied. No one listens or I have nothing to say.
Finally, this is how things are, because I can't make everyone else realize how it could be - not you guys, you're pretty much as helpless as I am - so my future is not desirable. Growing older and more infirm alone, with no money to save back and an uncertain Social Security to rely on, prey in a predatory jungle of humanity. I would see about a religious order, but who, in their right mind, would take someone who needs taking care of at 43? Why should they?
"It gets better," "This too shall pass," mean nothing. It gets better, then worse again. It passes, then comes again. Nothing changes, it just cycles past, like the backdrop for a stage set, revolving to make it look as if you're travelling.
We could make the world better, right now. It would take so little, require so little. And it's impossible, so, people like me, and the kind and cheerful and hopeful, are ground up, forgotten, and, ultimately, alone. Even our religion, through its blind copying of what this diseased view of "human achievement," is nothing more than a well-meaning nanny whose only promises come from an imaginary tomorrow.
This is, I'm sure, about winter depression; facing all the unspeakable possibilities along with ongoing poverty and the possibility of sickness with no benefits in place any longer - even paid sick time.
This isn't about suicide - I'm not suicidal, just feeling that it's getting real close to the end. I guess I've actually lost the will to live. Oh, it comes and goes, like a dying candle, but, mainly, no.
It makes perfect sense. I don't know how many do really understand - and I'm not being whiny, just presenting how I see things; the facts that I see.
First, I'm not like you guys. You're amazing! You take care of people and work for them and join and give and . . . I'm not one of those people. I'm one of those who simply is incapable of all that. I am one of those who need taking care of. Maybe the libertarian/Randians are right, and I'm one of the non-people who should just go away and this is natural selection - I don't know. The more I see, the more I'm certain that I'm likely autistic, and, certainly, have never been taught how to live as an independent adult. I mean, this isn't depression, this is just how it is. I'm frozen (ha. ha.) when faced with adapting. It's not just difficult, it's disastrous, and impossible for me to actualize on my own.
Second, whether it's my own need to be cared for, I see the entire world as a netlike community. But that's not how we live. Making sure your needs are met first is reasonable, but the entire human race lives under the belief that it is perfectly allright to have luxuries while others go without - that that is valid. Indeed, we don't - and this is universal, folks - regard things like hot water, private shelter, automobiles, choices of clothing, higher education, entertainment, as luxuries. They're expected. With that, there is religion, which is no longer groundbreaking, earth-shattering, status-quo-threatening. It's been tamed. MDG's are okay, but the problem is one endemic to the human race - there are countless social-service organizations, but only religion can have the audacity to change the entire human outlook. It doesn't. I'm not saying there's no value or good in meeting the needs of Third World countries, but that, when those needs are met, we encounter the same greed, the same taking-for-granted as a Donald Trump.
My despair is that, the one thing I can offer is to try to rally the troops. I keep saying, "We've got to fight, risk, be obnoxious." The different worldview I've been cursed with really does mean that I see how easily it would work. It's not hard at all. I feel like Katara, in Avatar (the series), trying to get Earth Kingdom prisoners to fight. I'm told, "You don't understand. This is just how things are." I write essays, harangues, even satire and am ignored. Apparently, since I don't have D.D. or Ph. D. after my name, or Canon, Fr., or Bp. before, I have no insight. I have no wealth, so I have nothing to say in secular publications. Perhaps I don't, which is the same as having the insight denied. No one listens or I have nothing to say.
Finally, this is how things are, because I can't make everyone else realize how it could be - not you guys, you're pretty much as helpless as I am - so my future is not desirable. Growing older and more infirm alone, with no money to save back and an uncertain Social Security to rely on, prey in a predatory jungle of humanity. I would see about a religious order, but who, in their right mind, would take someone who needs taking care of at 43? Why should they?
"It gets better," "This too shall pass," mean nothing. It gets better, then worse again. It passes, then comes again. Nothing changes, it just cycles past, like the backdrop for a stage set, revolving to make it look as if you're travelling.
We could make the world better, right now. It would take so little, require so little. And it's impossible, so, people like me, and the kind and cheerful and hopeful, are ground up, forgotten, and, ultimately, alone. Even our religion, through its blind copying of what this diseased view of "human achievement," is nothing more than a well-meaning nanny whose only promises come from an imaginary tomorrow.
I Declare Today Arlene Golonka Day!!!!!
ARLENE GOLONKA
Holy Television Mother of those of us growing up in the '70's
In Honor of her - randomness:
Yeah. I can completely relate, dried ball.
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| Most inappropriate toy . . . ever Yes. I wish I had had one. |
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