Enough About Me, We're In Mourning

From MadPriest.


Earlier today, Lisa took the agonising, brave, loving, beautiful and perfect decision to allow the doctors to withdraw Ian's life support.

Ian died at 12.15 p.m.

***Ian and Lisa are only in their forties. They have been married for seventeen years although they have known each other much longer. Ian is also survived by both his parents and his sister.Lisa is surrounded by family and friends who live locally.There is no need to worry about her being on her own.

***Lisa tells me that she will not be blogging for a few days. I expect it will be a few weeks, other than, maybe, the occasional small update.

Sometimes, the answer is "No."

Here

and

Here.

I have no words.

The Anger

A frequent contributor on Fr. Harris Blog, Preludium, recently responded to a post of mine here. It's pretty far down, but part of my post was this:

"Thank you for sanity, Jake. Since it is sanity, Worms, Dan, robroy will not get it - or, rather, they will and try to twist it. It's what they do.

They are saying, basically, that anything they might've given to their parents would be corban(sic) - sacred to the Lord - who, like the ancient Pharisees, the Reasserters believe they own."

This was in response, on my part, to an ongoing dispute, specifically involving the poster, in which this poster was telling Fr. Jake essentially that Reasserters taking churches "out of the diocese" was not theft because it was not legally defined as theft. Jake responded that legally or not, morally it was theft.

The poster responded to me with:

" I agree with Father Harris' original post - it is not right to fling allegations at people. Period. Fr. Jake / Terry Martin, with no sense of irony, responded by flinging an allegation. Mark Brunson accused me of being insane (although he was ready to kill himself over student loans)."

I was enraged. My response was - under the circumstance - controlled (you may judge for yourself if Fr. Harris chooses to publish the two posts in which I respond). I pointed out that the allegations of heresy, apostasy, sexual perversion were constant from his side - not least of all, him I might've added - and that I had not, in fact, called him insane. I pointed out the lack of Christianity in taking a dig at a person who has publicly - under his own name, to boot - admitted his emotional problems. In the second post, I apologized for the perceived allegation.

The desire throughout this evening has been to hurt him. To call out and shame this poster. To make myself right - after all, I've never used information, however publicly divulged, to strike at someone in so cowardly a manner.

And that is when I realized how futile it would be. Fist against fist and all you get is broken bones. What good is this anger? He stated nothing I have not said publicly. He used it to hurt me, and it has. Shall I hurt him back? Why? His response was through unconsciousness, lack of attention and self-awareness, lack of awareness of interconnectedness and of God's love. It is clear he felt hurt from it, and my words allowed that, rather than instructing. Shall I make him love me by returning his unlove? That, my friends, is insanity! I laugh to think of it now.

What anger and rage he must've felt. How alone and unloved, how hostile a world he must see to respond so. And, worst of all, he gives himself no choice in it. This deserves compassion, not rage, not pain-for-pain. We are called to be healers, and sometimes healing involves pain, but not this - this is the pain of a wounded beast who cannot understand that we seek to help, so no pain will cure him.

So pray for him. Go and let him know that you are praying for him.

Offer him no abuse! Just prayers, love, compassion, healing. If you cannot do that, say nothing. If you want to express outrage here, fine, but not to him, and with the caveat that such outrage - especially with abuse to that poster - will simply stroke the ego of mine that was so angry.

In Other Employment News . . .

MadPriest has received this:

Dear Jonathan

Thanks for your application for the XXX parishes. This is now with +X and the congregations who will be in touch in the next 2 weeks to let you know whether you have been successful in securing an interview, which would take place in the week beginning the 20th April.

Now, this means a lot to him, and, though I cannot approve, I ask that we all continue praying for him to get this position with these hardcore pornographic parishes - I was unaware that they had XXX parishes, but, I'd probably go to one - and that he will have a long and . . . pleasurable tenure there.

Seriously . . .

I posted over at MadPriest's:

If the PB of TEC was to publicly accuse the leaders of the schismatic sects, that call themselves Anglican, of aligning themselves with a man who even his own people accuse of being a promoter of hatred, bigotry and murder, that would force the ABC into a position in which he could only support the official TEC Church. Even silence or prevaricating would not be an option for him as this would be seen throughout the world as tacit approval of the evil emperor.

So . . . why aren't we demanding that of her? How do we go about that? It may be a tilting at windmills, but . . . who knows? That windmill may be more rickety than it looks.

So, yeah. Why aren't we?

PLEASE

Somebody explain to me, as simply as possible, what it is that's questionable about Bishop-elect Forrester's election and what is this "new ministerial model" he is supposed to be imposing - and how will he actually impose it?


The Zen is a settled issue for me, so don't go there. It just causes anger to arise.


I'm being serious. Please explain.

Update: Keep Praying and Go Visit Lisa

At her blog.

And . . .

I agree with a great deal in this video, which I first saw on MadPriest's.

It shows that the long-foreseen disaster has come.



And. . .

What will we learn from it?

Great. The DFH were right. Even those of us who are not hippies were saying the same things for quite some time. All us angsty, metrosexual early Gen-Xers were saying that. Good for us!

Now what.

It's great to realize that Wal-Mart is a disaster for small business. So, what are you going to do to bring down prices so that the average citizen can afford them in small businesses? You know, not all small business owners are heroic stalwarts just looking to make a better product for their community. They can be - and frequently are - as greedy and corrupt as any CEO. How do you plan on curing that mindset?

Yes. Fossil fuels and pollution are going to kill us. You recognize that. We were right. Yay. Do something or we'll all die. What are you doing? DOING?

It's wonderful to realize that there are clear problems, to see them head on. But, if all you're doing is sitting there bitching about it and smirking because you were right, what the hell good are you? If you tear down with nothing to build in its place, you are just a "dirty fuckin' hippy."

Sorry if I'm pissing on the parade, but, I used to work in the school system and the most valuable - only, in fact - lesson I learned in that job was from our principal who, when you came to her with complaints about what was wrong and needed to be fixed, would say, "You're absolutely right. That's great. Now, how are you going to fix that?"

If it'll make you feel better, I can also give an earful to that collection of little sociopaths called Generation-Y, who think "busy" is the same as useful and "cool" is the same as insightful and Gen Xers who bitch at Elizabeth Kaeton about how hippies led the world astray, while taking no responsibility for their actions.

Newest Info on Lisa and Ian

Ian's just being alive is miraculous.

Why not expect more?


Link here.

Addiction

I've been trying to deepen my self-observation for Lent. As many know, I do practice zazen and am trying to carry it into daily life more effectively. What this means is viewing my reactions and thoughts.

I've found something interesting.

I won't go into the whole thing of how we live daily in a virtual environment of our own creation, rather than the environment around us; it's complicated and largely too simple to effectively explain. However, I've found that I seek out argument, insult, cruelty on the blogs. I don't like it, and I don't like the rage it fuels in me. It's frustration, pain, despair. I know, objectively, that there is a legitimate reason for doing so - I honestly believe public stupidity needs to be publicly shown up. I've looked, though, and seen that I seek this ugliness from others because it arouses anger.

Anger is sour and painful, reactions driven by it are often irrevocable and stupid, so why seek it? First, anger is useful - I'm not denying that, nor would I claim, as a young priest did once to me, that "Jesus never got angry!" - and, to that end, it's tied in to that reptilian part of our brain. There's the key. My anger is first and foremost a physical reaction, well before thoughts or retorts or actions appear to the discursive mind. A rush of adrenaline and energy.

A hit of anger.

For someone like me, cut off, small and ordinary, often lonely, ambitious but self-doubting, that is a powerful incentive to keep the anger going! It's a physical, as well as psychological addiction. Removed from the physical response, I actually pity people like Matt Kennedy, robroy, Phil Snyder - there is frustration because I want them to know the joy in life that I and my friends do, and to finally demonstrate the goodness in them, the humanity, which they simply do not and it saddens me. I'm frustrated by their lack of self-knowledge, examination of their own positions, and could, if they would, simply share this world gladly and affectionately. But, the immediacy of the anger-seeking is that physical shot and the ego-booster that goes with proving I'm right and they're wrong (which neither side ever does, anyway). To be part of a mythic - completely imaginary - adventure where I'm the good guy who is battling evil (which neither side ever is, anyway).

No point or moral here, just an observation.

Some Sanity, Perhaps

I have never considered myself a voice of reason or sanity, but, lately, I am beginning to feel I'm one of the few adults in the room. Despite my attempts to be reasonable about it, most of the children quite clearly come from the so-called "conservative" camp. Almost all of them, in fact, are living in an elaborately-constructed fantasy, which would not be bad, except they're being allowed to direct affairs for the rest of us.

Let me start with some primary points in my own philosophy/cosmology/worldview - whatever.

First, I'm not an egalitarian. Not by any means. I do not believe that everyone should have an equal voice in making decisions because it is demonstrable that the great majority of people use their minds in a way that could barely be considered human. For example, "Joe the Plumber" would've been automatically excluded from any decision-making input as soon as he stated his "What's-in-it-for-me?" agenda. In times of crisis, the question is "What can we do?" or even "What's good is this for us?" not "What will it do for me?" This shows a lack of responsibility and awareness that makes such people dangerous, destructive decision-makers. Still, the reality is we are stuck with allowing people who are patently incapable of sound analysis to make major decisions en masse because they have managed to not die for 18 years and were born in the right country, and I accept that as fact. Not unchangeable fact, but fact.

Second, I'm not an elitist. I don't believe I - or anyone else - is better than another, just more aware. More insightful. Knowing my own lack of insight and awareness I find it frightening to realize most of our decision makers and world shapers - the majority - have almost no awareness or insight at all! They can acquire it, but choose not to.

Third, language has a singular and pure purpose: to communicate accurately. The absolutely atrocious spelling and grammar - and this is a particular liberal disease, as well - which I see is nerve-wracking, combined with the mediocritization of society that allows people to actually be outraged when you correct them! I'm not a great grammarian and my spelling is . . . adequate, but really - "syncratism;" "thealogy;" "comitee?!" You even have spellcheck! Beyond that, however, is the "conservative" tendency to bend, twist, and obfuscate - often with an avalanche of words! This is why I have absolutely, positively no respect for the profession of attorney. Someone remarked that law school teaches you to think logically. This is wrong. It teaches you to use logical constructs to argue your position, right or wrong, regardless of objective reality. This is a major theme of "conservative" apologetics for their theology - arguing positions rather than demonstrating truth. Just say "Wrong!" and move on. They'll demand an explanation of why they're wrong, simply challenge them to explain more clearly their nonsensical argument. If they can't, their complaints will ring hollow. If they can, the basis of superstition, self-centeredness, or self-delusion can be demonstrated in their argument.

This said, we should never, ever allow those who have demonstrated a consistent inability to manifest any sort of real self-searching to make our decisions. Never allow that. You may have it inflicted on you, but you needn't cooperate with their poor, self-centered, introverted, unconscious decisions farther than it takes to keep out of real trouble. We should make every effort, however obnoxious and arrogant it makes us seem, to make these people aware that they are not functioning at the bare-minimum for human perception and help them to arrive at that. Finally, we owe absolutely no courtesy to arguments which cannot be demonstrated as accurate, or at least possible, in the given range of experience (i.e.- no appeals to ineffable, hidden plans and arguments that x is not x, but y - the classic "it-seems-harsh/senseless-but-it's-for-your-own-good") and in the simplest possible words.

I Understand Their Reasoning and the Necessity, but just . . . Dammit!

Give Roseann some encouragement.

She really needs it. We all do.

Just . . . dammit.

Welcome to the Reign of Terror!

You have no rights in California if the mob disagrees!

And, now, some words from a gay guy, to mutants, autistics and gays alike:

Personal Request

My brother totalled his jeep this week, in an accident for which he is being held at fault. He's always been an excellent driver, and I've never known him to have an accident in my lifetime, so this has shaken him badly. In addition, the jeep has been my only reliable means of transportation, as well as allowing him and his wife, who must travel for her job, much more freedom and flexibility. My brother has a very tenuous emotional hold - much moreso even than me - and he is feeling miserable, guilty and as if he has let down everyone else. Besides that, he has real physical injuries, as well, to his already-deteriorating knees, to his shoulder and to his ribs - nothing's broken, thankfully. On top of this, as he is being held at fault, this is a tremendous - TREMENDOUS - economic burden to an already burdened family.



This is all seemingly trivial compared to a collapsing economy, the dire health problems of our community, and the struggle for equality in California, but your hearts are large and God is all-hearing.



AND if anyone in the Southwest Georgia area knows of a reliable car for $3,000 or under, please contact me at my email on my blog profile and I'll pass it on to my brother!

Pray!Pray!Pray! annnd rest . . . now Pray!Pray!Pray!

For our married friends in Cali.

For Ian and Lisa.

WHY RIGHT-WING CHRISTIANITY IS FROM THE DEVIL.

They go to and fro in the evening;

they snarl like dogs and run about the city.

Admittedly, I'm paraphrasing, but it's in the interest of expressing what these two gentlemen are actually saying:

"Raping a nine-year-old child is one thing, but I'll not stand for saving the child's life!"

"Peace and Justice are booring! Besides, it's against the Pope. Anyway, only ugly old women care about that . . . and Jesus! Tscha!" *

*True, Thompson didn't come out and call them ugly old women, but, he hasn't contradicted the "Christian" supporters who said he did in comments!

And

Basically, just google any comments by former bishops Iker, Schofield, Duncan - especially comparing them from day to day, as public opinion shifts. They make dissembling and outright lies an artform!

FINALLY

The incredible level of ignorance and bile found concerning Buddhism and the outright misinformation spread about it because it serves the sulfurous concerns of Reasserters and their masters.

There is one huge difference between Buddhism and Christianity though:

When right-wing Christians talk about their understanding of Christianity, Buddhism actually sounds attractive

See! This Is Why Speaking French Gets You This Reputation!

Okay, This is in what is supposedly a teen-revenge horror movie. In English-speaking countries, the scene would end with the bully winding up as chopped-liver, but, speak French (it's a Belgian movie), and you end the scene like this:

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT FOR ADOLESCENT MINDS!




. . . NOT that I'm complaining. The . . . bully . . . is played by Vladimir Consigny for those who, like me, are interested in this young man's career really taking off for purely artistic reasons, of course.

PS - the surprise ending = no surprise. Look at Virgile's clothes - and this was in 2007, apparently. Carmen Miranda was more reserved.

Prayers Again!

Sorry, bit down this week and frankly dispirited, so I'm running late.


IAN still really, really needs us (see below) as does LISA.

ROSEANN has a donor - James has been really concerned and a touch outraged at no one stepping up in that role - but has other health issues holding up the transplant.

IN ADDITION:

Byzigenous Buddhapalian is having upper respiratory problems as well as phlebitis, FranIAm has a friend who is need of support seen and unseen and, finally, our community here - Albany, Georgia - is in real difficulty. I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but I see it in the faces and actions of those here around me. Everyone is frightened, including me. For the first time today, I listed a negative number in our cash intake, and we've been steadily operating at half-capacity or less. The peanut industry is major in this area, and, well, you've seen the news. We've lost Cooper, P&G, and a sizeable chicken-processing plant in the last few years.

These are good people in Albany. Good workers. They are unsophisticated, have been used by employers who take advantage of Albany's isolation and plantation mentality for cheap labor, then jump ship the minute it seems someone upstairs might lose their fourth vacation home. They don't know what to ask for, because they've been told by fly-by-nighters that they'll lose their job if they expect much. They have no idea what they're worth, they're told they're less than worthless, Atlanta sends money no place south of Macon, and we're stranded. Most, if they went to cities like Atlanta, Miami, Charleston, Memphis, would wind up working 4 or 5 jobs because they have no idea what a reasonable wage is.

And these are good people. Ignorant, yes. Intolerant, often. But neighbors, family and friends first. Even a recluse - hell, misanthrope - like me feels loved and wanted in this place. At night, I walk to work in darkness, secure because I really have neighbors on my street. Those same neighbors wave at this poorly-lit figure shambling up a nighttime street because they know me. I wave at them, talk to them and their children, even if they don't know my name, because we're neighbors. Albany's not ideal. There's crime, hate, religious-fundamentalists aplenty, ignorance, stupidity, violence, insanity, but, mostly, they're good people. Pray for them, pray for us.

URGENT

Lisa's Ian really needs our prayers, and, if there's a doctor in the house, that too. Storm the gates of Heaven.


ON THE UPSIDE, we are told that Roseann is improving, swathed in badger hounds and with an arctic blue speedster - this after she complained about receiving the electric green family roadster.